Persistent little bugger

I should have had my sixth and last cycle of chemo today but it’s been postponed by a week as I’ve had a bad infection for the last two weeks that I haven’t been able to shake off, maybe down to my weakened immune system. It started with a sore throat and I was told to go to A&E.  There I was given intravenous antibiotics, which might seem over the top for a sore throat but when you’re on chemo any little bug can turn into something far more serious, e.g. sepsis.  I was also given some oral antibiotics to take home, but they didn’t seem to help much. I have some different antibiotics now though and today I’ve noticed a definite improvement so, fingers crossed, I’ll be ready for next week.

Cycle 5 has not been uneventful in other ways, either. The previous side effects have been present for most of the last three weeks, in particular the severe fatigue, the pain, the constipation, the loss of taste and the very low mood – I’d really underestimated the effect chemo would have on how I felt in my head – but in addition a couple more annoying side effects increased this time, like the uncomfortable ridges in my now discoloured finger nails. My finger tips feel different, too. I can still feel things but the sensation has changed, things feel almost silky when I know they shouldn’t and my hands briefly seize up from time to time for no apparent reason. I go to get hold of something or press something and it’s like non-painful cramp sets in. My eyes, too, have been affected – they’re sore and very watery.

I’m coping with the chemo but it’s hard to downplay its relentless negative effects, apart from highlighting the one big positive that shines through like a beacon in the fog, putting all the negative stuff into the shadows, and that is my PSA level, which is down again to 0.102, beating the last “lowest ever” of 0.158 and for me it makes it all worth it and reaffirms that I made the right decision about having chemo. No one can say how long the low PSA will last, could be 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years, but as far as I’m concerned any amount of time that the cancer is held back is a bonus.

Fingers crossed for cycle 6. 

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